The "Four Ps" of LGBTQIA+ Affirmation

This is May, which means that next month, companies and nonprofits alike will be putting rainbows over their logos, showing up at Pride events, and doing everything they can to make sure the LGBTQIA+ community feels loved - or at least, that it looks that way.

In recent years there has been a lot of critique of “Rainbow Capitalism,” when companies show Pride during the month of June, but don’t actually have corporate policies in place to protect queer employees or clients, or who back political candidates who pass laws that actively harm the queer community.

I’ve thought about Rainbow Capitalism a lot in the context of churches, and how churches - notably, with really good intentions and from a place of love - pretend to be more affirming than they really are. They might have a table set up at Pride, even if they have not done the work to be sure they’re Open & Affirming. “We basically are!” they say. Or “We even have a gay member!” or “I am affirming, and my church is okay when I say things from the pulpit, as long as I’m not too explicit. We talk about Jesus loving everyone, and most people catch on to what I’m really talking about.” Or “We went through the O&A process 20 years ago, so we’re good! We’ve been doing this since before it was cool! No, we’ve never really talked about trans inclusion, but I’m sure it’s fine.”

But “being Open and Affirming” (or whatever the term is in your denomination) is so much more than rainbows and Pride festivals. Unfortunately, sometimes churches want to show support, but in doing so, pretend to be someone they’re not — which can actively harm the very people they’re trying to show love to. People — people who really need a safe place to worship — take churches at their word, then show up to church, only to discover that maybe, the church wasn’t quite as far along as it first seemed. This is the same as telling someone with Celiac that your bread is gluten-free, but dusting your hands with wheat flour before you bake it.

A few years ago, after hearing several comments like what’s written above, I came up with the Four Ps of LGBTQ Affirmation: Policy, Practice, Publicity, and Proclamation. It can be a helpful way to audit your congregation - whether you’re on the journey, aspirational, or have been O&A for 20 years!

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POLICY

This often includes a Statement of Welcome, but it should not stop there. Be sure that all your written documents, including but not limited to Constitution, Bylaws, & Personnel Policy, Wedding Policy, and others, codify your congregation’s welcome. Codifying it, through your internal processes, will ensure that this value outlives one pastor or leadership term, because of the accountability and steps needed to approve these policies.

Consider questions such as:
~ Does our wedding policy assume there is one bride and one groom?

~ Do our Personnel, Employment, and Leadership guiding documents use binary language (“he/she”)?

~ Do we have a statement that the congregation has adopted, that explicitly names our welcome?

When Policy is lacking, affirmation is often contingent on one pastor or leadership team’s personality and personal views. If leadership changes, without policies in place, the church can go a different direction, leading to hurt.

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PRACTICE
This is how your congregation actually lives its values — how members treat each other and visitors, what norms and values the congregation embodies. A lot of churches actually do a pretty good job at making new visitors feel welcome, but that “next step” of getting involved can be difficult for everyone, especially LGBTQIA+ folks who have been hurt by churches in the past.

Consider questions such as:

~ If a queer couple started visiting and wanted to join or lead, could it be “an issue” in the church?

~ If your congregation is affirming of lesbian/gay, married people, would they be just as affirming of a trans or nonbinary person?

~ What about a trans person teaching children’s Sunday School?

~ Would the congregation respect using they/them pronouns?

~ Do your liturgy/ songs use binary language for humanity?

~ Is your congregation so dedicated to equality that they would hire an LGBTQ+ person as senior minister?

When Practice is lacking, new visitors feel welcomed at first, but can be harmed by “bait and switch” when their welcome is limited. Or they might be accepted by some people in the congregation, but not others.

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PUBLICITY
This is the outward-facing materials. This can be online (website, Facebook), brochures/postcards, t-shirts and water bottles, marquee signage — anything that helps people who aren’t already a part of you learn more about who you are!

Consider questions such as:
~ If someone visited your website or social media, would they be able to identify you as an Affirming church?

~ Do we clearly articulate that we are LGBTQIA+ affirming in our written and digital materials? Remember, “All Means All” is not clear enough!

~ When a visitor first worships with you, would they know from the bulletin, welcome materials, etc that you are an Affirming church?

When publicity is lacking, no one knows you exist or that you are safe!

* A note about coded language & signs - because they are inherently unclear, sometimes pastors who are affirming in congregations who will not will put rainbows or coded language into their promotional material, to signify to potential visitors that the church is Affirming, in hopes of looking supportive. If you would not clearly tell your congregation from the pulpit that you did that and why, please don’t use coded language - again, it can be harmful to the people who need it the most.

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PROCLAMATION
This is how churches proclaim the theology that Affirmation is a response to a faithful interpretation of Scripture. We are bold in our approach, and don’t shy away just because people might disagree! This is primarily from the pulpit, but Bible studies and other spaces of Faith Formation are also important for Proclamation.

Consider questions such as:

~ Does the pastor preach about the theology of Affirmation, or use examples in sermons of LGBTQIA+ individuals?

~ When there are news events that impact LGBTQIA+ people, are those named in prayer in the way other events are in your church?

~ Are your church members able to articulate why your church is Affirming, based on theology and Scripture, though that is not the loudest voice in American Christianity?

~ If the pastor used words like “queer” or “transgender” or “nonbinary” or “cisgender” or “LGBQIA+” from the pulpit, would that lead to angry emails or conflict?

When Proclamation is lacking, the church can embody “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell,” members rely on only “love” and “nonjudgement” instead of theology, and new members are not aware of your Affirmation, because it is not ongoing.

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Wherever you are in the process of being Open & Affirming - whether you’re just starting to think about it, have been O&A for decades, or are thinking “We basically are, so we don’t need to go through the process” these four areas can help you audit your congregation.

Are they all in balance? Is one area lacking, or has one been given attention while others ignored? Do all four areas match in how Open you *actually* are? Is there one next step you could take?

This is a dangerous time for LGBTQIA+ folks, and it’s so vital for congregation who are safe to be clear about it - and congregations who aren’t to do the work to get there! No matter where you are, keep going, keep working, and Happy Pride!